Participant Perspectives on Parenting

Mary

"I always felt like I was just stressed out about something or anxious about something or frustrated about something…I think it really affected my relationship with my daughter and I feel like things have gotten better there. And I feel … I can see a confidence built in her, you know, that our relationship has gotten ─ I see her kind of also, uh, developing good emotional qualities, good social qualities, good … just maturing." #

Carmen

"I think because we had a lot of pressure in our home financially, we were very hard on my children because we were pressured… We wouldn't do very fun things or, or you know, I wasn't in therapy too … it's helped me a lot to understand a lot of things too… It's changed a lot… You know, we talk a lot to our children more. We don't scream at them as much." #

Tameka

"It's still impacting my life. It's still impacting the lives of my children. My children, um, probably have a hope for something that they probably didn't have hope for before, because we've done something that we've never done. Something that always seemed like maybe a dream is a reality for them because, hey, we have our own home… Them seeing how we went through this process, I'm sure it gave them hope that life can look different." #

Desiree

"You know what, my mom has always said, you know, like when, when teachers, or, you know, other people at the school, like when they can see an involved parent, then they feel like they need to, you know — that kind of pushes them to feel like they need to be a little bit more involved, you know, like with your child or, you know, anything around them." #

Rochelle

"Well, I know nothing about no Grand Theft Auto and all that stuff. I’ll be like okay. He’s like, 'Well, I'mma show you, I'm gonna show you.' 'No, you’re not gonna show me.' And then I had to tell myself, 'Yeah, you are a mom, you got to listen and pay attention.'” #

Brooklyn

"When we're all playing together and we're having a good time, I know that those times are going to be their memories. You know, when they look back on how they grew up or they look back at stuff that happened when they were children, having those moments is what makes them build their own character and build their own confidence…that's what makes a person develop as they grow." #

Winnie

"I was working a lot, and I didn't have enough time for life, you know, and my kids and just spending time with them. So, what this program did was create that time….I would use it with my kids' activities, being involved in their life, doing things with them, getting to enjoy them, getting to see them grow. And that was so much that I was missing while I was working.

Just their openness to talk about and have conversations with me….Um, I think overall just me being involved in, in, uh, being active in their life, I've seen that changed and, you know, they like that, although I'm the, you know, the mommy that roots and that’s the loudest fan and all that." #

Sabrina

"My son has these little bitty animal figures and we play hide and seek animals or hide and seek cards, and he'll go around the trees in front of our apartment and hide all his cards. And then he hands me a bucket and he tells me, “Okay, go find them, mommy.” And so, I go find them and, and we just take turns doing that, and he loves doing that.

I see a lot of people who are more focused on their careers and, you know, children are just put in daycare and then thrown in school and then put in afterschool care, and they don't really get to spend so much time with their parents. And I don't want that for my kids. I want them to be able to play and have fun with me and their dad." #

Patricia

"Because I had money saved and stuff, so I actually took the summer off to spend with the kids. We went to [the lake] for vacations and I just tried to spend as much time with them…it was actually because of the [unconditional cash] that I was able to take that time off.

My family's very important to me and I like to just create memories, so when they get older, I'll have 'em…I love spending time with them and I didn't have a really good childhood, so I want them to have the best childhood that I could possibly make." #

Aaliyah

"I feel like I've gained more patience. Um, I feel like, um, I try to be more, um, in tune with what they have going on, um, with school, um, with their personal lives, with, um, in their phones, um, with their friends.

We do something called detox time, where when they get in from school, um, they put their electronics, uh, that they have like in, in my room, um, or in a box and they do chores…then they're able to get their stuff…and we also do it at nighttime too as well. " #

Maggie

"I started listening. I try to hear my kids' perspective on things, instead of just giving my opinion or telling them what to do. I try to understand where they're coming from, especially with [my youngest]. He gets in trouble the least of my kids. My oldest two say, 'He doesn't even have the same mom we had when we were kids.'

Instead of being so quick to be angry, or so quick to punish him or whatever. I'll try to talk and see what were you thinking when you did this, or what were you thinking when this happened. I try to see his perspective and his point of view. I think I'm more of a gentle parent now." #

Jamila

"When my husband passed, I started to see things differently. I tried to be like very, very gentle towards him because I know that he's struggling like me and he's a little kid…I let him to recognize his emotions, like if he's angry, if he’s like fussy, I let him sit.

Before that I was like time him out. Go stand in the corner for four minutes, five minutes and think about it like what you did wrong. But right now, I'm really being gentle with him. Which is really good thing. I'm proud of myself for doing that…I did not cause him more trouble." #

Virginia

"Togetherness is really good and helpful because it just builds confidence in people. People who have people who are reliable are more confident. I already know that, and I see it in my kids every day." #

Sophia

"Being a single parent, I know a lot of people do it, but I'm not going to be one of those that loses that time with the kids…I’ve got to steer them through this time because I only have a short period to guide them before they make mistakes and have to deal with them in other ways." #

Claire

"I've definitely become very patient… I feel like I offer [my daughter] a lot of things that she doesn't get anywhere else so I'm pretty satisfied with that … just being engaged and involved with her when she speaks to me and stuff like that." #

Tristan

"Spending time, spending time with my family. Anything my kids are into. So, like going to the park. I'm going to go to about four parks today. This is my first park I'm at, we're going to another one right now, which is right up the street.

Creating more lasting memories with your kids. You know, it's like I grew up with my dad and everything and there's memories I have. I want them to have oodles upon oodles upon oodles of memories. So every time I go and do something with them, it's just creating another memory." #

Chrissy

"Building those memories with the kids when it comes to us cooking, having movie night, pizza night. Those types of activities, um, are more meaningful to me.

Because one day that's all we're going to have, our memory. I want them to have that sense of family, a sense of bonding. So that when they grow up they can do that with their family." #

Grace

"Spend time with my kids outside … I take them to a park, or somewhere and spend time. I’ll play board games with them.

We talk about what they want to do for the future, all that kind of stuff. Make sure they know that they can come to me no matter what. No matter if it's stupid or they got in trouble and stuff that kind of stuff. Or something … or like if they’re depressed or heartbroken and stuff and everything like that. I let them know that they can talk to me or if they need to, when they want to." #

Sarah

"Spending time with them. It doesn't matter if we're coloring or what we're doing. I didn't realize it until just recently how fast my oldest is growing up. But watching my little one grow up has made me realize how old my oldest is and that scares the living daylights out of me.

I feel like I can pass on some of the stuff that my parents did with me. Me and my oldest have gone to several concerts together. My dad took me to my first concert, so it was really neat to be able to take her to see people in concert that she really enjoyed…and that was so much fun because I know that it's something she's not ever going to forget." #

Kenzie

"Like it's, it's hard to play ball with your kids when you're stressed out and you can't get in the moment. It's hard to do anything with your kids if you're stressed out and not living in the moment…

Part of this process was like me really, um, getting humble and, um, starting to be more involved in his day-to-day life. And realizing like that I haven't been super present with my son because I was dealing with so much that life was throwing at me…I had to have a lot of conversations with him so that he knew who I was kind of at a deeper level and not just somebody who bossed him around or know, reminded him what he needed to do, um, but that I could be supportive and I could be, I don't know, holding space for him and I could be like a person that he could talk to and all these different things." #

Lisa

"We're a lot closer now… um, especially over like the last two years with it just being us. Um, you know, we're all we got, that's, that's our, our family motto over here. At the end of the day, we're all we got. So, um, that support has to be there amongst us all the way around. So, but we, we definitely are a lot closer.

One of the things that they all have said that they really can respect about me as a parent is when I mess up, I show them … uh, you know, I go to them and I say, “Hey, I'm sorry that I snapped about, you know, this situation.” Um, and because I show them that it's okay to, to mess up and okay to apologize — um, as long as you take ownership of your, your action, um, it's okay." #

Anthony

"I'm excited about being a dad first and foremost. Like that was, that was like one of my … this is like my greatest achievement to date…I hope that she never, ever has to doubt herself, um, that she always … she/whatever she wants, whatever she wants to do, I hope that she knows that she will, she will be able to achieve it. And I hope that she knows that I will also always be behind her 100% every step of the way." #

Ivy

"I was able to be responsible for myself and my kids. And I didn’t need as much help from everyone. And so everyone was able to see me get on my feet, because before I had the [cash transfer] I was in a really bad situation and bad point in my life… I was able to put me and my kids in a home where I was able to pay for the bills." #

Alyssa

“I wouldn't have been around as much because I would've had to work more. I wouldn't have been able to go to her stuff with her, I wouldn't have been at home at night as much necessarily. You know, like I, I, I wouldn't have been, I wouldn't have been as present […] [our relationship] probably would've been worse because she is the type of person that needs that contact… she probably would've been more angry or resentful, that I was gone more." #

Olivia

"Having that extra money helped us realize how much of an impact money makes on happiness and anxiety, because I didn't have to deal with as much anxiety and I was able to balance things a little bit more with my family. I was able to keep more of a healthy balance…having the comfort of being able to think about our overall health…They say money doesn’t bring happiness, but money does bring health, and health does bring happiness." #

Morgan

"To be happy. Well, they're happy, but to be happy to, to never feel the stress that we feel. I mean, I try and protect them, but they don't know. They don’t know what we go through. Um, but for them to have the job security that we don't have. For them to have … you know, never to know the stress that we have." #

Nathan

"Me and my kid are our own best friends, which is pretty cool….And so, I feel like it's some of the reason that my son is so smart or as advanced as he is, is that I spend every waking moment with him and we're always doing stuff and always making it happen. You know, on the go, getting it done, learning real things and, and doing it. And I, I think that that has had a lot to do with it." #

Xia

"Seeing, seeing them laugh. And, um, with my son, he's a little bit late, developmentally late; the motor skills are a little bit late. So, he's not, he's not walking yet, even though he's a couple months after one. So, seeing him able to learn new things, now he's able to crawl, he’s trying to stand up. I don’t know, it just makes me feel proud.

Um, I guess, they’ll have a better life than me. Like don’t, don’t drop out of school and be able to figure out what they really want to do or explore it when they're younger. So, when they get older, my age, they would already have a career and they don't have to live paycheck by paycheck." #

Ammon

"I get my kids ready if they need their breakfast or whatever. And I take them to school and then I come home and I study if I have to study or if I have an early, early class. And I get most of my class done while they're at school. And then like before … it's time for them to get out, I prepare dinner for them. So, I don't have to do it like at seven or eight o'clock at night, and, um, you know, get them, get them home… Lately, they've been having to go to like practices and, um, everything. So, I do that and then we might get home like around eight and I study. I study until 12 and then I do it again." #

Hannah

"Eventually, I started like … let's use [the transfer] and do something for the kids that we can't normally do for them. And that was what my goal ended up becoming with it, was let's do a trip here or … let's go have a family day, this place or that place…If it wasn't put towards bills, it was some sort of an adventure or fun day… we took a couple of overnight trips to different states… [to] museums and zoos and aquariums that we wouldn't have been able to take them to without it.

Honestly, it was probably one of the best feelings I've ever had being able to do all these things for them because we've always been like a paycheck-to-paycheck kind of a family." #